人際關係愈好 愈能成功
摘錄自：天下雜誌 經濟學人電子報 2013/1/31
2013-11-05 Web only 作者：經濟學人
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| 圖片來源：flickr.com/photos/16210667@N02/ |
在十九、二十世紀之交掌管美國鋼鐵公司的史瓦布（Charles Schwab），可能是美國第一個領有100萬美元年薪的人。他不是天才，也不比其他人更懂鋼鐵，他到底是怎麼辦到的？卡內基（Dale Carnegie）的觀察是，史瓦布知道怎麼讓其他人喜歡他。只要有魅力、自信和微笑，任何人都能爬上成功的階梯。這正是《如何贏得友誼和影響他人》作出的承諾；此書出版於1936年、經濟大蕭條之時，上市後立刻造成轟動，出版首年就賣出17刷。
密蘇里大學的歷史學家瓦茲（Steven
Watts），在他撰寫的卡內基傳紀《自助彌賽亞：卡內基與當代美國的成功》中指出，卡內基的個人再造運動，協助重新定義了美國夢，也開拓了通往美國夢的新道路。在當代消費者經濟之中，勤儉克已等維多利亞時代的美德已經沒有太多價值，在此同時，新角色登上了舞台：白領高階管理人員。如果說成功源自如何與人相處，卡內基提供的正是行為樣板。
卡內基於1888年出生於密蘇里鄉村的貧窮家庭，他的父母虔誠、努力又貧窮。他剛到大學之時，質樸又缺乏安全感，還因為一雙大耳遭人訕笑。但他在聽過幾個演講者的成功故事之後，便決心投入演說，希望能藉此成名。
在南達科他，卡內基從一小片肉身上，看出了銷售人員角色在消費者時代的演進。銷售不再只是滿足消費者的實務需求，還得承諾更好的生活。卡內基發現，最有效的方法，就是建立私人關係等更巧妙的銷售方式。
卡內基在20多歲時來到紐約，他和許多來到紐約的人一樣，有著極大的夢想和空虛的口袋。他想成為演員，卻成了曼哈頓YMCA夜間演說課程的教員。他提出的建議，讓人類動機、潛意識等新心理學理論得以大眾化。他的課程極為熱門，沒多久之後，他就把這些課程變為成功的全國性業務。
部分批評者認為他的方式過於憤式嫉俗，彷彿友善只是晉升的潤滑劑；其他人則批評他不懂政治和經濟。但卡內基有著中西部的真誠，他相信人可以變好、錯誤可以修正，就連姓氏都可以改掉。他本來的姓氏是Carnagey，後來才改為Carnegie，與工業大亨卡內基（Andrew Carnegie）相同。
二戰結束後，美國進入了富裕的新時代，但物質並未帶來個人實現。又一次，卡內基以暢銷書駕馭了時代精神：《如何停止憂慮開創人生》。他強調，眼前要務是把握當下，忘卻「已故的昨日」和「尚未出生的明日」，並說服讀者追尋有意義的工作並試著取悅他人。
卡內基罹患阿茲海默症、逝於1955年，享年66歲。但他對成功的看法至今依舊留存；艾科卡（Lee Iacocca）、巴菲特等超過800萬名學生畢業於他的商業溝通課程，《如何贏得友誼和影響他人》已銷售超過3000萬本，每年仍有6位數字的銷售量。不過，瓦茲寫道，卡內基留下的最大遺產，就是他那「自助之父」的地位。卡內基承認，尋求個人滿足並非易事；但微笑永遠是最好的開始。（黃維德譯）
©The Economist Newspaper Limited 2013
The Economist
Dale Carnegie
How to succeed
By The Economist
From The Economist
Published: November 05, 2013
Nov 2nd 2013 |From the print edition
Folksy tips from the father of self-help in America.
Self-Help Messiah: Dale Carnegie and Success in Modern America. By
Steven Watts. Other Press; 582 pages; $29.95 and £21.99. Buy from Amazon.com,
Amazon.co.uk
RUNNING US Steel at the turn of the 20th century, Charles Schwab was
perhaps the first person in America to earn a salary of $1m a year. What made
him so successful? Was he a genius? No. Did he know more about steel than other
people? Certainly not. So how did he get ahead? Schwab knew how "to make
people like him," observed Dale Carnegie. With charm, confidence and a
good smile, anyone can climb the ladder of success.
This was the promise of Carnegie's landmark book, "How to Win
Friends and Influence People". Published in 1936, amid the struggle of the
Great Depression, it was an instant hit, selling out 17 editions in its first
year. "Be hearty in approbation and lavish in praise," Carnegie
advised. Riches and happiness will follow.
Carnegie's crusade of personal reinvention "helped redefine the
American dream and plotted a new pathway by which to get there," writes
Steven Watts, a historian at the University of Missouri, in an insightful and
comprehensive new biography. Carnegie got rich selling a brand of homespun
wisdom ("Make the other person feel important"), but his message of
self-presentation helped people navigate the rules of a changing workplace. In
a modern consumer economy Victorian virtues of thrift, self-denial and a strong
moral character had little value. Meanwhile a new figure had arrived on the
scene: the white-collar executive, who spent his days juggling meetings and
managing bureaucracy. If success came from knowing how to deal with people,
Carnegie—in folksy, brisk and inspiring language ("watch the magic
work")—offered a template for action.
Born into a poor family in rural Missouri in 1888, Carnegie learned
many of these lessons the hard way. His parents were pious, hard-working and
broke. When he arrived at university he was rough-edged and insecure, and got
teased about his sugar-bowl ears. But after hearing a couple of speechifiers
tell their mesmerising rags-to-riches tales, he threw himself into public
speaking, eager to make his name.
A stint peddling meat in South Dakota gave him insight into the
evolving role of a salesman in an age of consumer abundance. Sales involved not
only meeting the practical needs of consumers, but also promising a better
life. Carnegie found that a more artful form of salesmanship—which included
establishing personal relationships with people—worked best.
A hayseed with a Midwestern twang, Carnegie arrived in New York in his
20s with the usual mix of big dreams and shallow pockets. He craved the life of
an actor, but settled for teaching evening public-speaking classes at a small
YMCA in Manhattan. His tips for getting ahead popularised new psychological
theories about human motivation and the unconscious. When dealing with people,
Carnegie would say, "We are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are
dealing with creatures of emotion." His classes became so popular that he
soon codified his lessons into a successful national business.
Some critics saw his approach to empathy as cynical, as if all kindness
was lubrication for personal advancement. Others criticised his flimsy grasp of
politics and economics (he was often "startlingly naive", writes Mr
Watts). Yet Carnegie operated with a Midwesterner's sincerity, believing people
could improve, mistakes could be fixed and even names could be changed. His own
had been Carnagey before he tweaked it to sound like Andrew Carnegie, a
powerful industrialist.
With the end of the second world war America entered a new era of
prosperity. But material advantages did not yield personal fulfilment. Once
again, Carnegie harnessed the Zeitgeist with another blockbuster book:
"How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" (1948). In snappy prose, he
insisted that the way ahead was to seize the moment, letting go of "dead
yesterdays" and "unborn tomorrows". Readers were pushed to
pursue meaningful work and to try to please others. "When you are good to
others, you are best to yourself."
Carnegie was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and died in 1955, aged 66. But
his views about success live on. More than 8m students have graduated from his
business-communications class, including Lee Iacocca and Warren Buffett in the
1950s. "How to Make Friends and Influence People" has sold over 30m
copies worldwide; it still sells in the six figures annually. But Carnegie's
biggest legacy is as the "father of the self-help movement", writes
Mr Watts. Finding personal satisfaction is no easy thing, Carnegie
acknowledged. But it is always best to begin with a smile.
©The Economist Newspaper Limited 2013
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